Sunday, June 20, 2010

Not Cooking With Gas

Never buy this stove.

Hell, they probably don't even sell it anymore. In any case, the thing has a grill on the left with a downdraft vent that starts automatically when the grill is on. I had big dreams to prepare a filet for Not Don for F Day, along with portobello burgers for me and Middle Girl and a hamburger for C. Louise who can't chew much right now due to her new braces. I planned to saute (fry? whatever) asparagus and boil pasta on the burner side. I started the pasta water first and when it was almost ready to boil, I started the burger. The downdraft sucked all the heat off the burner side and my pasta water never came to a boil. The grill side flamed up and filled the house with smoke. We flung open windows and 15 flies joined the party. The downdraft is a failure - it takes in the heat but not the smoke. Now, I have had this stove for about 7 years. This bad performance isn't news to me. I just thought it couldn't happen this time because, you know, it's F Day.

The meal came together finally at about 8:00. (This was after we had been rejected from seeing Toy Story 3 at a sold out theater in the afternoon. We shucked, we jived, we consoled crying children and we ended up at another theater a short 40 minutes later.) I should have quit with the F Day showing off yesterday while I was still ahead of the game.

p.s. Miss M referred to Father's Day as "F Day" just once, and now I must use the phrase ad nauseum.


Olivejenny said...

"If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide." - Mahatma Gandhi.

There's really only one appropriate thing I can do with this brilliant post. ;)

susan said...

Yea, you should have stopped. You had me at "mowed the grass" ;)

It is the thought that counts, though.

(we saw Toy Story 3 too-cried like a baby)