Boy, I ripped Charlize Theron a new one! That'll teach her to wear a Cinnaboob dress on the red carpet because if anyone is qualified to critique starlets and their fashions, it's me.
Here's why. I went to the gym today. I always take a change of clothes so I can shower and dress after my blistering 30 minute walk/run on the treadmill (200 calories burned – take that!). I love to shower at my gym. Seriously. The locker room is clean and they have warm towels. I use their shampoo and lotion and q-tips and hair dryers and leave feeling like I've been to a spa.
When I pulled my clothes out to get dressed after my shower, I realized I had packed jeans and a dress. I thought I had packed a long-sleeved gray shirt, but it was a short-sleeved gray dress. (Let's not talk about why I had a dress folded up rather than on a hanger to begin with, leading to the mix-up. Skip that part.) I really didn't want to put my sweaty workout shirt back on, so I put the dress on with my jeans and running shoes and went to the grocery store. The dress is low-cut and I don't normally wear it without a camisole but today, whatever, bra showing, off to the store. Did I mention it was like 45 degrees and raining and the dress had short sleeves? OK, now you know. I shopped, tried to avoid eye contact of any kind and shuffled the groceries through the rain in my sassy outfit.
When I get home, I ask the girls, "What do you notice?"
Immediate answer: "You're wearing jeans with a dress. And running shoes." They exchange their what is she doing to our family? look.
Not Don walks in. I ask, "What's retarded about me?" (aside from my vocabulary). Immediate answer, "I don't know, but your outfit is cute!" He likes Charlize Theron, too.
7 comments:
Ha-Ha!! We both know Not Don is fashion-challenged. Remember the 'doormat' sweater he liked?
My favorite thing about the Landry was the suit-spinner. If only we'd had that all those years I swam...
Do they still have oj and coffee in the lounge area? It was the nicest locker room I'd ever been in.
Don't be hating on my man's taste! He was just blinded by my cleavage.
I love that suit spinner. I think they still have juice and coffee, but I'm usually there in the afternoon when it's water only. They got rid of the lemonade since it wasn't healthy.
Not Leather hasn't seen Not Don's pea coat. I made Not Handy get one. Not Don's got fashion game. (OK, I've exorcised my Not needs now.)
Hey! I WEAR DRESSES WITH JEANS! Are you talkin' ta ME??? Cuz I don't see anyone else here you could be talkin' to!
Trinny from the British "What Not to Wear" wears dresses with jeans--says it's good for people with saddlebags and cankles. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Clare, you wear hats and live in LA and go on bike dates - it's just different! Teach me how to wear this look in a non-tragic way, and I'll totally adopt it.
I appreciate the debate as to my fashion sense, but everyone is missing the key point....When your wife asks you (bluntly, I may add), what's retarded about me?, any guy with an ounce of sense will respond with a compliment...any compliment.
Standing in your own kitchen in a dress and jeans isn't odd to a guy..we don't think that.
Oh, and yes...the cleavage was staring back.
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