Boy, I ripped Charlize Theron a new one! That'll teach her to wear a Cinnaboob dress on the red carpet because if anyone is qualified to critique starlets and their fashions, it's me.
Here's why. I went to the gym today. I always take a change of clothes so I can shower and dress after my blistering 30 minute walk/run on the treadmill (200 calories burned – take that!). I love to shower at my gym. Seriously. The locker room is clean and they have warm towels. I use their shampoo and lotion and q-tips and hair dryers and leave feeling like I've been to a spa.
When I pulled my clothes out to get dressed after my shower, I realized I had packed jeans and a dress. I thought I had packed a long-sleeved gray shirt, but it was a short-sleeved gray dress. (Let's not talk about why I had a dress folded up rather than on a hanger to begin with, leading to the mix-up. Skip that part.) I really didn't want to put my sweaty workout shirt back on, so I put the dress on with my jeans and running shoes and went to the grocery store. The dress is low-cut and I don't normally wear it without a camisole but today, whatever, bra showing, off to the store. Did I mention it was like 45 degrees and raining and the dress had short sleeves? OK, now you know. I shopped, tried to avoid eye contact of any kind and shuffled the groceries through the rain in my sassy outfit.
When I get home, I ask the girls, "What do you notice?"
Immediate answer: "You're wearing jeans with a dress. And running shoes." They exchange their what is she doing to our family? look.
Not Don walks in. I ask, "What's retarded about me?" (aside from my vocabulary). Immediate answer, "I don't know, but your outfit is cute!" He likes Charlize Theron, too.
This is my rock and roll love letter to you.
1 week ago