I went to the hardware store this afternoon to buy 4 cans of spray paint. Near the register was a display taller than me of something called Anti Monkey Butt. I did the big double take and then moved along quickly without stopping to figure out exactly what the heck it was. I later googled Anti Monkey Butt - it's just powder and they sell it everywhere - not too interesting after all. But, why at the hardware store? They must believe some percentage of their clientele is walking around with sore asses.
I had gone to the hardware store directly from a spin class. I was new to this class and I chatted with the instructor beforehand. Once he had my name down and his microphone on, he singled me out throughout the class. Not Stacy! Are you motivated? (yes) I can't hear you! (YES!) Come on, Not Stacy, more effort! (gasp, gasp) Pick it up, Not Stacy! Out of the saddle and climb! Hey, Not Stacy, what did you have for dinner last night? (A Slurpee. Wild Cherry.)
Turns out I was the sore ass customer the hardware store had been waiting for. If only I had known the cure was right there.
This is my rock and roll love letter to you.
1 week ago