Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Caution: Gross photography

I'm going to see a dermatologist for the first time ever tomorrow.  There's this mole on my neck.  Can you see it?  Well?
I'm of a certain age, you know, and I want to have my moles inventoried.  Once I'm there and we start talking, I'll have to ask about crap like this:
Meet my age spots.  Come closer if you dare.  Is there a cream, an ointment, a poultice for these things?
Do I stop there or do I go all the way to the forehead?
The horizontals don't bother me.  It's the verticals I could do without. (One of those verticals is a strand of hair, by the way!  FYI!  Not all wrinkles!!)  From my limited knowledge of dermatology, I assume botox is a treatment for this and I'm not willing to go there.  Not now, not next year, but get back to me around 2014.  Again, looking for a solution in the lotion family.

It's a slippery slope, I fear - a slippery slope greased with potions.  After years of completely ignoring my skin, the dermatologist's magnifying glass is going to unnerve me and I'll start throwing money at "problems" I never knew I had.

Now I'm fixating on how my right eyebrow is much higher than my left eyebrow.  Anybody know a good surrealist?


Olivejenny said...

Happy Decrepitude! (is that a word? Spell Check didn't indicate, so now I'm at a loss) I'm right there with you. Cheers!

Btw, I have two words for you: La ser.

susan said...

All those lines and such made us who we are today. (I keep telling myself that in hopes that one day I will believe it) ha! I have been doing chemical peels (over the counter ones) and lotions for a few years now. With all the different smells I put on my face I go to bed smelling like a french whore (no offense to the french, or hookers) :)
The dermatologist should be able to give you a script for the good stuff....Retin A baby!!!!!