I'm going to see a dermatologist for the first time ever tomorrow. There's this mole on my neck. Can you see it? Well?
I'm of a certain age, you know, and I want to have my moles inventoried. Once I'm there and we start talking, I'll have to ask about crap like this:
Meet my age spots. Come closer if you dare. Is there a cream, an ointment, a poultice for these things?
Do I stop there or do I go all the way to the forehead?
The horizontals don't bother me. It's the verticals I could do without. (One of those verticals is a strand of hair, by the way! FYI! Not all wrinkles!!) From my limited knowledge of dermatology, I assume botox is a treatment for this and I'm not willing to go there. Not now, not next year, but get back to me around 2014. Again, looking for a solution in the lotion family.
It's a slippery slope, I fear - a slippery slope greased with potions. After years of completely ignoring my skin, the dermatologist's magnifying glass is going to unnerve me and I'll start throwing money at "problems" I never knew I had.
Now I'm fixating on how my right eyebrow is much higher than my left eyebrow. Anybody know a good surrealist?